I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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