Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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