what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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