It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize