someone get that fucking seahorse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize