Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
