I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
