I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
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I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize