i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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