New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
