I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
