how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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