Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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