brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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