Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
