i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
