Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
