Got a toothbrush?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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