I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It was confusing and full of hummus
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize