I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
