Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
