My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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