Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
