You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
