Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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