Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude i'm inner monologue high
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
