That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
