so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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