O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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