she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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