Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i drank out of a bidet.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
