PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
