:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i would punch a child for taco bell
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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