I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How's work?
Spinning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
