i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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