i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
