OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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