Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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