I want you more than these girls want KFC
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
