he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
