I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
