I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Did I show you my penis last night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
