No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
