Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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