on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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