also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
