question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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