We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
