so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
