Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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