He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
