I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize