I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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