Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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