We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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