im about as happy as oj after his trial
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize