Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
