Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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