Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
